I let myself be lowered until my back was flat against the mat and I was staring straight up at the route I had just navigated. I tried to untie the rope from my harness, but all of the strength was gone from my fingers. I just laid there trying to catch my breath with my muscles on fire and bright red hands that were peeling even through the layers of chalk. 

I had been climbing for hours and my entire body was exhausted, but there was just one thing going through my head. I want to go again, I can do it better this time. 

I’ll never forget that feeling of intense satisfaction when I completed one of my first “projects” (a route that you work on for several sessions) and hearing my belayer, the person who holds the rope for a climber, say, “Your mask comes off when you climb, I’ve never seen you smile like this.” 

He was right, I was grinning like an idiot without realizing it. That was the exact moment I knew I needed to keep climbing in my life. It’s a very high intensity sport that is a full body workout, but also requires complete mental focus. If you think about anything other than your climb and where your body needs to go, you’ll fall.  

The first time I set foot in a climbing gym was to study muscle groups for a high school anatomy class. My teacher, a climbing fanatic, used this and subsequent trips as an excuse to get back into a gym. I will always be grateful for it. That day changed my life. 

Growing up, I was never one for sports, especially team sports, but I was suddenly immersed in a whole community, meeting new people and learning new slang. It taught me to trust my body and my abilities, but more importantly, I learned to place complete trust in others. As a belayer, the climber’s safety is in your hands, which can be very scary and potentially dangerous. I’ve experienced the dangers of having a distracted belayer, which only adds appreciation for the truly good ones. 

I wouldn’t say that I’ve completely gotten over my fear of heights but now the fear turns into adrenaline and excitement. The holds feel more solid in my hands and I wonder how I ever struggled on such easy climbs. 

Now I tie myself in without looking as I evaluate the route in front of me. I play out the moves in my head until I know exactly what beta (sequence of moves) I need to use. It’s just a warm up climb, something to loosen up my muscles, but it’s miles more difficult than the climb I did with Jay three years ago. 

I don’t have the opportunity to climb as much as I want to anymore, but my love for it hasn’t faded. I now understand when people talk about their passions, because this is one of mine.